Category Archives: Savouryisms

Proven Methods to Ensure Stress Free Parenting

April 29, 2013   Savoury   2 Comments

 

Boy it has been one of those mornings; you know the ones…..

You wake up at crack of noon and are raring to go a whole .00001 miles an hour to get to the coffee pot. I pour the water in on my now second attempt to start the blasted contraption and await the beloved perking sound. Settling into into a cozy seat I wonder why they call these machines automatic! I pick up the paper and a bold printed article screams out:

Proven Methods to ensure Stress Free Parenting

Are there really people out there who could claim such a thing? Well with the newest technologies in today’s society. Who knows? I can only imagine a group of therapist have gotten together and created a well-behaved child program.

What? Everybody has to evolve with the times!!!

My overworked crazy brain begins rewriting the article and it goes like this:

There are many different approaches to raising children available these days to assist parents in their plight. Some of them have proven to be more effective than others and have the tendency to depend on the natural disposition of the child. All in all a generalized plan of attack tends to boil down to the following steps.

  1. Teach and treat children with respect.
  2. Give children opportunities to make choices.
  3. Give children chores to instill responsibilities.
  4. Throw all the rules out the window.

Here’s how it really goes down…

You politely ask the child you love more than life itself to clean their hazmat area called a room thinking it to be a simple chore. They will respectfully inform you that their room is clean and they know where to find all of their stuff. You gently explain that covering the entire floor in the room is not a form of organization. Nuclear breakdown commences 3..2..1.. the full blown blast of whining, complaining, and stomping has begun. In time a blanket of silence falls. Your smiling child once again appears and lovingly tells you they have cleaned most of the room and have now decided they would rather play.

The soon to be famous NAWSAP (National Association of Wanna Slap A Punk formed to prevent the decline in humanity) releases the results of their extensive research programs. The figures have conclusively come to indicate (in the 90 percentile) the best method for Stress Free Parenting would be to simply avoid having children!

Otherwise you will find yourself reading oxymoronic articles in the paper desperately hoping they will provide you actual knowledge.  Then have a life altering experience when the men from NAWSAP  bust down your door and begin closing in on you. All before you are able to make yourself a cup of much needed coffee.

 

A REAL Parent,

Savoury

 

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Turning multi-tasking into a dangerous artform

April 26, 2013   Savoury   1 Comment

Driving into work I found my boyfriend and I, (a term coined by co-workers and no, Mr. Savoury is not jealous in the slightest) better known to others as traffic, were on semi-peaceful terms. There were no accidents or major stalls due to vehicles or construction. So all in all there was only congestion to deal with due to a ever growing city. I happened to pass (literally) by an uncommon phenomenon. In a blue late model Nissan Altima that the infamous Kelly Blue Book would have categorized as good condition due only to its age, sat a woman. Or should I say was driven by a woman? Either way! There she was traveling along side me somewhat and what I saw her doing was worth stealing a second glance.

In a brief moment I was able to observe her in her own habitat. Her window was lowered causing her hair she pulled up in a twist to dance around the top of her head. I assume she preferred this to an alternative given she had to let out the smoke her cigarette was creating. She seemed to feel right at home as she was reading her book.

You heard me!! She was reading a book. From the glimpse I caught I would bet it is a romance novel I am dying to read. Aside from that she was occupying a hand with a smoke and traveling down the freeway!

I was shocked!! How dare she get that book before me! Oh wait, I forgot to mention it was an arcaic thing people use to call a paperback (this is a thick object that has pages made of paper that actually have to be turned that are printed on). I guess I should have been elated to see she wasn’t using her phone, to read, send texts, or heaven forbid what it is designed for to call someone. I digress! I can only assume this is a common occurence for her. I mean who else would decide on a whim to conduct such death defying acts during rush hour just for giggles.

I found some reassurance in the fact her car was not sporting any dents or knicks from a previous to die for story…. I did however verify we had a bigger buffer area between us. Then I had to grin as I quickly envisioned an image of her ditching her daily duties to sneak in reading time. In desperation to reach the BEST parts of the novel. How could she not? She had trouble puttng it down on the way there afterall!

I am a true believer in multi-tasking since I wear many hats. Somehow I just don’t believe an opening scene from the twilight zone is the way I would go about it.

I have to get that book,

Savoury

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Literature Majors….Not Needed

April 25, 2013   Savoury   1 Comment

I am not opposed to a kind worded helpful person whom has caught one of my many spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes. Lord knows everyone is going to make them. However I have come across some personalities in the past who have taken their precious time and energy to help insure the English language is upheld to the highest of regards.

Light heartedly I have read through the blood laden corrections. That may or may not be an overstatement. Smile at the thorough comprehension of our complex language that they possess. I think about the wonderful teacher’s who have mastered their abilities to educate our youth. Then with due diligence I file it in file 13 with a blessing upon their heart.

Hey, I am a southern woman after all!!

I loved literature arts, well at least my transcripts said so, but now-a-days I have relinquished or better said lost my Rules to the English Language manual. I am sure it is somewhere in a back room, in the basement, down the hall of my five storied middle aged brain. I am sure of it! No, wait maybe I moved it to…it doesn’t matter.

I don’t see anything wrong with my love of run on sentences. I have come to accept my draw to put punctuation marks where they don’t belong. Mean while leaving the places that so deserve their attention alone to sulk. Besides if I were to write too well my friends would think I’ve grown lazy and hired a ghost writer. I would never, ever want them to have even the slightest resemblance of proof that could be twisted like this and used against me. So you can see why I must relay my thoughts as they come otherwise my clan will most definitely claim the gig is up!!

A misspellin,

Savoury

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Star Wars – A New Generation

November 01, 2012   Savoury   No comments

Have you heard the whispers and murmurs that are circulating around about a new Star Wars movie?

That’s right! There is a new Star Wars around the corner! Well maybe not the corner per say but a new one is in the works!

The only true hope for all you die hard fans out there is that the new owners of LucasFilms are as good as the originals. Oh, I didn’t mention that yet did I? The new owners are no other than the ones who inspire the Magic in all our hearts! Did you just say Disney?  You would be correct! Hey, hey if you don’t believe me feel free to check it out for yourself….

Whew your back!   That took a while!

You really wanted to be sure didn’t you? I tell you what. I’m going to let you mull it over for a bit! I have to admit that I am curious!! What do you really think about this new twist to a story from long ago, about a galaxy far, far away……..

 

 

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Fresh Meat…….

May 25, 2012   Savoury   1 Comment

Isn’t it fun when a new person is introduced into the mix? We got a new girl in our office at work. She really came on about six weeks ago but you have to let them settle in a bit to be fair. For all “intensive purposes” I work for a company that is made up of personalities that keep life interesting to say the least. Those who are outside of our office are slowly catching the scent of fresh meat…
Our new girl hasn’t quite learned to decifer the voices of our frequent callers yet! I can promise they are assisting her in doing so rapidly. Until then a laugh a day keeps the doctor away… She has received a variety of different antics thus far. One caller in particular has the ability to manipulate his voice leaving her to believe she is taking calls from multiple people when in fact it is just him. He has asked to speak to people by names that do not belong to them. Leaving her confused and an office full of laughter when she asks how she can connect them. Today she happened to receive a call asking to purchase a do-hickey for a thing-a-ma-bob that can grind smoke (given our industry it could be legit). Very professionally she tried to assist him by asking different questions about the product. He remained firm on stating he was looking for pieces of the machine that allows you to grind smoke and create a real fine substance. Not allowing him to get the better of her she asked the name of such a machine again to no avail as he claims there isn’t one on it. Then she went ahead and let him know she was new and unfamilar with all of our lines. As she began to offer to find him a more knowledgable staff member he felt it was only fair to let her in on the prank. She took it in stride and only called him punk….

Have you ever tried or had others try to pull the wool over your eyes back when you were the fresh meat?

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Keep life interesting…

May 19, 2012   Savoury   No comments

Ok….so to keep life interesting I am at a rock club (not my genre) yet I know someone who promised me an awesome show…..

Those who proceeded the one’s I came to see had some awesome base!!!! Unfortunetly I didn’t understand a word…

However Low Man’s Joe totally brought everything they had. It was amazing to see a local band who has real talent in action…..

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Would you let your daughter wear makeup?

May 12, 2012   Savoury   4 Comments

Lately I have noticed a growing phenominom of young girls and teens striving to look like twenty year olds. So I can’t help but ask….

Before thinking the worst of me. I want to say that I have no qualms with young girls playing dress up or attending sleepovers that that revolve around playing beauty parlor. I believe it is an aspect of life that is beneficial for them to experience through play. In such a way that can boost their esteem while providing an introduction to becoming a woman. Not to mention it can create priceless memories shared between a mother and daughter. This is not much different than a father and son shaving side by side (the child is using a play razor of course) in front of a bathroom mirror. It seems these timeless pieces of childhood have become distorted. These days you are more likely to see young girls wearing a full makeup mask and acrylic nails believing it to be the norm.
I have seen it time and time again and I wonder what has happened?
These are the thoughts that tend to haunt my mind when I think about my daughter wanting to wear makeup.

What would you consider to be an acceptable circumstance for your daughter to wear make up?

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

May 07, 2012   Savoury   2 Comments

 

Would you consider this statement to be true?

I don’t know!! Could this really apply to everyone equally?

Playing the devil’s advocate I would say for those who are caught up in lives that keep them apart more than they realize… this statement would be true!

However if you are close and the life you lead has a naturally equal balance between time together and apart..then this would not hold true for you. Or would it?

 

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Let it rain!!

May 02, 2012   Savoury   No comments

Could there be any truth to the saying that washing your car is daring mother nature to make it rain?

I say we should ban together and wash our cars to see if we can bring on the much needed rain…….

A drought fearing,

Savoury

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What is going on with people’s mentality these days?

May 01, 2012   Savoury   No comments

 

Everyone knows or knows of at least one person who lives their life constantly in need of being saved…..

Don’t misunderstand me! I know that life can throw some mean curve balls that knock you down and take your breath away. My heart truly goes out to anyone who has ever had to endure such an experience. There is no question of respectability for people who end up in such situations.

What I struggle with are those who’s only method of living life entails piggybacking on someone else! No matter what opportunities exist before them, the amount of people who are working in their best interest, the multiple attempts of loved ones to organize new beginnings, or lack of stability regardless of the aid they receive.

You will find these are the type of people who get their wheels spinning managing to make a bit of noise, they make sure to leave a mark showing they were there, and stir up a lot of smoke all without gaining momentum that will actually move them forward.

I just can’t wrap my head around it?

THEN….if that scenario isn’t bad enough!  It usually goes without fail that in the end those who exist this way tend to bite the hand that feeds them. Which only leaves them in search of a new place to begin the process again.

Seriously WHY? Could someone tell me why they don’t want to end the insufferable pattern? How many bridges can you possibly burn before you run out? What does it take to get them to see the error of their ways?

A puzzled,

Savoury

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